Is it Too Dangerous for your loved one to Live Alone?

Is it Too Dangerous to Live Alone?

Children of elderly parents face tough choices.  One of the hardest things that a child will ever do is determine whether or not their parent should live alone. As children we find that it is devastating to watch the people who cared for us become unable to perform their day to day care alone.  The once strong hands tremble, the same hands that held us steady while we learned to walk, ride a bike, or swing.

As upsetting as it may be to watch a parent become unsteady, it is even more heartbreaking to receive a phone call from authorities or a local hospital that a loved one has been admitted to an emergency room for an injury.  Especially, an injury that could have been prevented by having an in-home nurse or aide.  Home care may be preferable to assisted living or a nursing home.

When thinking about an assistance choice, answer these questions:

•  Has your parent or loved one become confused lately? Do they repeat the same questions or tell the same things to you repeatedly?

•  Are bills behind?  If memory loss is a problem, bills can be left unpaid which will result in loss of utilities or even loss of the home.

•   Do you notice mood swings in your loved one?

•  Have your parent(s) been forgetting to go to appointments?

•   Do you notice bruises? Does your parent seem to bump into objects that they would normally avoid?

•   Do stairs and chairs seem to give your loved one a problem to get out of or up?

•   Normally clean homes are increasingly unclean.

•  You may notice that your parent’s hygiene is not the same as before, even a few weeks before starting this assessment.  It may be hard for them to get in and out of a shower or tub.

Any or all of these things combined can point to a need for in-home care. Approaching your elderly parents about setting up in-home health care can be stressful on both you and them.  Bring up your concerns, address the issues you have noticed, and explain that you are only concerned for their well being.  When discussing home health care as an option, be sure to point out that your parent will be able to remain at home.  Your parent will also be in control of who goes where in their home, will participate in a care plan development, and will be able to remain home as long as possible by choosing home health care.